The Fear on Their Faces

Some of my friends have a running joke about fear. One of us has an affinity for scaring people. I'm not talking about jumping out of closets or fake spiders scaring. This person is willing to wait in the attic of an old cabin for twelve hours for the chance to "See the Fear on Their Faces."

Why is it so exciting to witness fear? Better still, why is it exciting to put ourselves in scary situations? Haunted Houses, Sky Diving, Bull Riding. Or in my case, coming face to face with the very animal that killed the Crocodile Hunter.

Let me introduce you to Giant Stingray professional, Dexter. Like Madonna, or J-Lo, no last name is required.

Dexter lives on the island of Grand Cayman. For a screamin' deal, he will take you out on his Catamaran, forty-five minutes off-shore, to a natural sandbar in the middle of the Caribbean. Dexter explained that for years fishermen would come to clean their fish at this convenient location, attracting Giant Stingrays anxious for an easy meal of fish heads and guts.

He waits until you're in the boat to tell you how to avoid ticking off this HUGE creature. The wingspan of these birds of the ocean average about four to five feet. Swishing behind rubbery wings is a four to five foot tail. The six inch stinger makes a dangerous point at the end.

We all nod our heads, and I look around at my fellow adventurers with a smile on my face--waiting for the part that says these are special Giant Stingrays whose stingers were removed or who live in this wildlife sanctuary and are tame.

I waited . . . and waited. I waited through his instructions to keep my feet firmly planted on the ocean floor, because if I step on a stingray, I will be stung. I waited through his explanation to not panic when they rub up against me because sudden movements also trigger attacks. I waited through these instructions, looking at everyone on that boat with my best "what a kidder" smirk. As the moments passed, and the serious looks and nods of the people around me didn't crack, I realized that this was real.

I was going to die in the middle of the Caribbean.

One by one, people jumped in, and determined not to be left behind, I followed.

I even held one.

"So Jen," I hear you asking yourself, "what's the big deal? How does this pertain to writing?"

Simple. As writers, fear is our biggest enemy. We're afraid we will never be able to justify the time spent crafting a novel. We fear that people will hate our book once it's finished. We fear that we are kidding ourselves to think we can write something worthy of publication. And then there's the big fear of REJECTION.

I'm terrified of all these things too. This week I'm submitting a partial manuscript to Laura Rennert, a Top-Dog in the literary agenting world. There's a good chance I'll get stung. But I, like the rest of us every day we choose to believe in ourselves and sit down to write, am going to jump into that damn water and have an amazing experience. Fear will not keep me from trying.

Will it keep you?

What fears are you facing right now?